Puppy Kisses

Even though I’m definitely a cat person, I like dogs, too. They’re loyal and playful, loving and spontaneous. But, aside from puppy kisses, I have never been a fan of dog drool. Whether being sprayed by a shaking dog’s slobber or licked as a friendly dog’s greeting, I almost always have the same reaction – get me to a sink.

Don’t hate me for my fastidiousness, though. It seems I could be compromising my health compared to the likes of you who might share your ice cream cone with your favorite canine. Researchers from the University of Arizona and the University of California-San Diego suggest that canine saliva contains essential probiotics that can make dog-owning families healthier than non-dog-owning (and, therefore, non-canine-saliva-exposed) families. Apparently, a study is being readied to confirm these results, and to better understand the link between contact with dog saliva and the reduction of asthmatic, allergic and inflammatory symptoms.

So, go ahead and enjoy those puppy kisses. And, I will, too . . . while I wait and hope for a similar kitty-kiss study.

Riddle me this:

 If broccoli is the new kale . . . 






and 50 is the new 30 . . .  

and teff (an Ethiopian grain) is the new quinoa  . . . 

and "Orange is the New Black" . . . 

Then, _________________ (in your opinion) is the new ___________________?

Red or Blue -- This is for you

“Lil’ Liberals” is the latest spoof video created by Remedy Pictures' Patti McCreary and her business partner Steve Utaski.  Produced to coax smiles from liberals and conservatives, alike, “Lil’ Liberals” main intent, according to the producers, is to change the focus from dolls that are measured by hair, clothes, and bling, to dolls that are measured by their opinions about social issues.  Isn’t that how we should learn to know others – by listening to their opinions and engaging in respectful dialogue together? 

McCreary and Utaski acknowledge the difficulty in making this potentially polarizing video, and tried “to ride that line right down the center of the blue and red state divide.”  I think they did a good job.  Their work is a good reminder to take time to listen to what others’ think, and not to be too eager to lump everyone together under red or blue team pennants, all while challenging the social norm linking women’s worth with outward appearance.

Bravo!  Brava!  Yay.

Click this link to watch the Lil' Liberals video on vimeo.  What do you think?






Rule #1: Don't ask a feminist to promote a sexist product.

You've all likely heard about the ridiculous "Pens for Women" Bic has been trying to market.  They are, basically, regular pens that come in pink and purple and are twice as expensive as "men pens."  There is so much wrong with this idea, all of which is expertly, and oh-so-humorously, pointed out by the brilliant Ellen DeGeneres.  Believe it or not, Bic apparently asked Ellen to be a product spokesperson for the lady pens.  You guessed it -- she refused.  And she came up with this hilarious stand up about it. 

So, get yourself a splash of coffee, tea, or something stronger.  Now, sit back and enjoy Ellen's witty comeback. 

ASMR = Ahhhh

Remember yourself as a child.  Now remember yourself falling asleep listening to something routine, simple, and fairly quiet – someone clipping hedges outside, the clinking sounds of dining and murmured conversation, someone taking a shower.

Remember yourself receiving a routine, enjoyable service in a quiet setting – a haircut, shoeshine, or pedicure.

Do you remember the feelings of calmness, even drowsiness?  Do you remember ever feeling a goose-bumpy tingle, for instance if the murmurs and clinks sounded just right, or if the stylist was snipping around your ear?

Calm, drowsy or tingling sensations are sometimes referred to as autonomous sensory meridian response(s), or ASMR, and are becoming a sought-after YouTube phenomenon.  In our stressed out, sleep-deprived culture, people need ways to soothe themselves in order to relax or fall asleep.  Apparently, more and more people are turning to ASMR videos for just such purposes. 
 
ASME sounds are different from white noise in that they are not flat or constant, and, of course ASMR often includes visuals as well as audios.  If you’ve never experienced ASMR “head tingles,” ASMR folks say you probably won’t experience them from ASMR videos.  But if you’ve gotten drowsy or calm, you likely can expect at least that response.  Common ASMR triggers include:  whispering/slow speech patterns/accents, lip smacking/eating sounds, scissor snipping, clicking/brushing/watery sounds, and painting/drawing/quiet instructional videos – which explains why students sometimes have ASMR responses in class – although not in my classes, EVER, of course.  J 
 
I tried out a couple of the videos – one about water marbles and one where a nice woman whispered about time travel.  I felt relaxed after these videos, but not drowsy.  I didn’t experience the head tingles that some people report, although I don’t usually get those from sounds.

Here’s just one site to try, if you’re interested:  soothetube

What do you think about ASMR?  Do you think you might try one of these videos during a bout of insomnia?  If you tried one of the videos, what was your experience? 
 


Bloody Crazy

Okay, I get it – crazy Bloody Marys are in.  Like the one pictured here, the star at O’Davey’s Irish Pub & Restaurant in Fond du Lac (which looks amazing, and, alas, I haven’t tried).  In days of yore, I adored a good Bloody – thick, cold tomato juice on the rocks with vodka, spices, and an icy-crisp stalk of celery.  Wisconsinites also require a chaser of beer, of course.  And, as mixologists got funky with the creation, adding hunks of cheese, all manner of pickled delicacies, even mini burgers, I dashed to try the latest and greatest.

And, yes, they’re fun.  But, call me a drink snob, they aren’t that much fun.  Maybe it’s because each place strives for a wilder version than the other places or maybe I’ve just had too much tomato juice lately, but I think I’ve ordered my last crazy Bloody.  After I’ve carefully dissected the toothpicked creation (hopefully without anything tumbling down my shirtfront) and after I’ve swilled the latest peppery/watery/tomato-ish slush (even with a good beer chaser), I feel a little let down.  Like I’ve just been had.  Like that slightly crusty, slightly mushy hunk of cheese and the wilty dilly bean and the cold little burger just took up valuable stomach space where I could have put a delicious salad and a hot sandwich instead.

Maybe I’ll crack and will succumb again (I DO keep looking at O’Davey’s rendition), but as of late, I think I’m over this trend or fad or best-in-the-world beverage (your choice, the description).  What about you? What hyped-up food or drink doesn’t quite make the grade in your book?

 

Snow Day!

It's the third snow day in less than a week, here in Missouri, and I wanted to share the magic.  There's something about snow days that bring out the kid in everyone.  What a weird phenomenon -- first crouching around the radio or T.V. to be extra sure your school or place of business is, indeed, closed; then the celebratory jig or sigh; then the "free" day to spend shoveling, cooking, eating, playing.  Former U.S. Poet Laureate Billy Collins nails the essence of a snow day in his poem bearing the same title.  Enjoy!

 

Snow Day

By Billy Collins

 

Today we woke up to a revolution of snow,

its white flag waving over everything,

the landscape vanished,

not a single mouse to punctuate the blankness,  

and beyond these windows

the government buildings smothered,
schools and libraries buried, the post office lost

under the noiseless drift,
the paths of trains softly blocked,
the world fallen under this falling.

In a while, I will put on some boots
and step out like someone walking in water,

and the dog will porpoise through the drifts,  

and I will shake a laden branch

sending a cold shower down on us both.

 

But for now I am a willing prisoner in this house,
a sympathizer with the anarchic cause of snow.
I will make a pot of tea
and listen to the plastic radio on the counter,
as glad as anyone to hear the news

that the Kiddie Corner School is closed,
the Ding-Dong School, closed.
the All Aboard Children’s School, closed,
the Hi-Ho Nursery School, closed,
along with—some will be delighted to hear—

the Toadstool School, the Little School,
Little Sparrows Nursery School,
Little Stars Pre-School, Peas-and-Carrots Day School  
the Tom Thumb Child Center, all closed,
and—clap your hands—the Peanuts Play School. 

So this is where the children hide all day,
These are the nests where they letter and draw,
where they put on their bright miniature jackets,
all darting and climbing and sliding,
all but the few girls whispering by the fence. 

And now I am listening hard
in the grandiose silence of the snow,
trying to hear what those three girls are plotting,  
what riot is afoot,
which small queen is about to be brought down.

Billy Collins, “Snow Day” from Sailing Alone Around the Room: New and Selected Poems (New York: Random House, 2001). Copyright © 2001 by Billy Collins.

 

 



Snaggleteeth

 

What's wrong with this picture? Yes, you may have noticed that the model's teeth are not perfect. But, that's not what's wrong. What's wrong is that she is a model for a dental procedure popular in Japan (and getting popular elsewhere) that causes teeth imperfections.

 

Call it the opposite of braces. Apparently, some young women are now afraid to have perfect teeth because no decent man is going to be attracted to someone who is too perfect -- in fact men, in general, the logic goes, will feel most secure with a flawed woman.  Such teenagers beg their parents to pay hundreds of dollars to mess up their mouths. Specifically, most want the "snaggletooth" look -- a vampire-like look where plastic fronts are affixed to the canines, or eye teeth.  Called yaeba in Japanese, cultural studies theorists say the look is “pre-orthodontic,” a look that suggests delayed baby teeth or a too-small mouth. 

 

How surprising that, once again, the latest craze not only emphasizes youth, but sexualizes younger and younger "looks" and makes perfectly normal women willing to change their appearance primarily for male approval.  Sigh.

 

 

Coins on top or bottom?

What's wrong with this picture?  Isn't it obvious?  The cashier has given you back your change with the coins on top method.  Now the coins are going to slide all over the place, maybe even land on the floor.  And, if  you're lucky, same cashier will top this whole debacle off with the receipt, which you'll stash in your mouth for safekeeping while you deal with the rolling coins and eventually get a chance to tuck the all-important bills into your wallet.  Grrrrrrr.

 Now, take a look at this picture.  Doesn't your blood pressure go down?  How calming and reasonable to have the cashier give you back your change with the coins on bottom method.  You slip the bills into your wallet, put the coins in your pocket or change purse, and all is well.  Perhaps, the cashier has even nicely counted your change back to you -- coins first -- and you are certain you've gotten back the correct amount.  Maybe you even feel so good about this transaction that you take your handful of coins and deposit them in the cashier's tip jar!

 

It's obvious which method I prefer.  Lately, the coins-on-top thing has become a pet peeve of mine.  But, I've heard various defenses for the coins on top method -- mainly, that the cash register shows the change as dollars first, coins second, and so cashiers grab the change that is shown and put it into your hand . . . also as it is shown, with coins on top.  They don't count back to you because they don't know how or were trained not to.  I've also heard that cashiers use the coins on top method because they don't want to touch germy hands and so put the bills (sanitary as they are) into your hand first, then drop the coins on top to avoid actual skin-to-skin contact. 

 

We won't even begin to talk about putting the receipt on top of everything because this issue is complicated enough.  But, please do tell which you prefer.  Are you a coins on top or a coins on bottom kind of customer?  And, if you're a cashier, what is your method of change delivery?

 

 

Just Say No to Body Scanning

Who doesn’t hate the rigmarole of airport security, or, as the New York Times recently dubbed it, “Security Theater?”  
 
Take off your shoes and put them in the bin (or on the belt, depending on the airport): take off your belt; take off your jacket; pick through your purse to find the mini bottle of lotion and your lipstick and mascara and squirrel them away in a plastic sandwich baggie; put your laptop in a separate bin; put your keys and change into the little bowl; throw your carry-on onto the conveyor belt; walk your bare feet over thousands of germs; throw away your half-finished water bottle; be prepared to have your small jar of peanut butter confiscated . . . and walk through the . . . 

WAIT!

Don’t do it.  Do not walk through the body scanner.  You do not have to.  They cannot make you.  And it may be dangerous for your health to do so.

Irritating compliance with ridiculous rules aside, this last step in the security process is downright wrong.

There are two kinds of body scanners in airports across the country – those that use x-ray technology and those that use millimeter wave technology (and, according to a recent New York Times article, millimeter wave machines DO emit radiation, albeit less radiation than the x-ray scanners).  For decades, health care practitioners have cautioned against exposure to unnecessary x-rays.  You even get a little lead-apron to wear when you have to have dental x-rays.  So, why is it now okay to expose thousands of travelers to unnecessary radiation all for the sake of “security?”  Even if those levels are labeled “low” and “safe,” why risk it?  

European, American and Australian studies are mixed about the safety of body scanners.  Plainly, they are just too new to have accurate long-term data about their safety.  In fact, TSA has just recently admitted that the x-ray scanners are probably not safe and are pulling them from many airports in favor of the millimeter scanners (the ones with the “low” radiation).  But, why is low radiation considered safe?  What about people who travel frequently and are exposed often to this “safe” radiation?  Logic would have it that even the millimeter scanners may not be the best for people’s health.

Recently, I flew out of O’Hare and faced the usual ordeal of Security Theater.  Instead of encountering the ire of security staff when I opted out of going through the scanner (they then have to do a pat down instead), I actually got sympathy from the TSA workers.  The first person I had to deal with told me, “I don’t blame you.  I won’t go through those things either.”  The second person, the woman who was assigned to do my pat down said, “Have you done this before?”  When I nodded, she said.  “Yeah, I bypass all the time myself.”

So, go ahead and exert your right not to be scanned.  Opt for the pat down, even if it takes a little longer and isn’t exactly the most pleasant experience in the world.  If entire lines of passengers refuse to be corralled through the scanner, perhaps TSA will come up with saner – and safer – methods of ensuring security.  

Considering how few terrorists are caught, despite Security Theater, isn’t it unconscionable to expose thousands of travelers to health-damaging radiation – “just in case?”

 

 

Here come the Bagel Heads . . .

What's the latest and greatest new fad in Japan?  The Bagel Head.  Apparently, people voluntarily want to look as if they've had bagels surgically implanted into their foreheads.  Why? Good question.  I can't see the aesthetic, ironic or creative draw to the procedure.  It is shocking, though, and a little weird -- and that's probably the whole point.

 

Bagel heads get that way by having about 14 ounces of saline injected under the skin of their foreheads.  The saline creates a round, domed mass.  To get the bagel look (versus, say, the snowball look), the practitioner pushes his or her thumb deeply into the saline mound to cause an indentation.  The indentation -- in fact, the whole bagel look -- lasts for under a day.  Then, the saline is absorbed into the body and the person goes back to looking like a boring old human again.

 

So, do tell.  Is this a look you've secretly been admiring?  Or does the thought make you want to skip breakfast? 

Cray Cray

Yes, frustration.  That's what you get when you deal with bureaucratic craziness.  Here's my latest example:  I used to have a cell phone contract with Sprint.  Yes, I'm naming the carrier.  Probably not a good idea.  Definitely poor taste.  But, whatever.  Anyway, I used to have a cell phone contract with Sprint, as I said.  That was three years ago.  I didn't mind Sprint.  I was reasonably happy with Sprint.  But, we found a better plan and changed to it.  It was with a different company.  A company that is not Sprint.  Another decent company not much better and not altogether worse.  Whatever.  However, lately, I have begun to hate Sprint.  Detest Sprint.  Have horrible dreams about Sprint.  Why?  Sprint is a prime example of bureaucratic craziness. 

It seems I overpaid the last payment of my last Sprint bill by 72 cents.  Yes, that's right, 72 cents.  So, Sprint dutifully sent me a statement informing me that I had a credit of 72 cents.  I called them and told them that I am no longer a customer and therefore, would never be in need of my 72 cent credit.  Could they send me a check for 72 cents?  No, Ma'am, they couldn't.  They can't cut checks for less than a dollar.  Well, then, I said, just keep the 72 cents.  No, Ma'am, they couldn't do that either.  Accounting controls.  Well, what should we do?  Did they want me to send them 28 cents so they could cut me a $1 check?  No, since I was no longer a customer, there was no way to pay into my account. 

 

X*&!#Z!

 

So, what happened?  For the last three years, I have received a monthly statement from Sprint telling me that I have a 72 cent credit with them.  I've called them several more times and had repeats of the above conversation with different representatives.

 

Grrrrrr

 

 

So, if Sprint goes bankrupt because they have had to send me a hundreds of statements in the mail, each with 42 cents worth of postage, and have had to buy the paper to print those statements and have had to hire the people to process those statements and to keep track of my account that is closed . . . well, don't blame me.  I tried.

 

Do you have a frustrating story about bureaucratic craziness?  Do tell!

 

 

 

 

 

Battle of the Oddities

Enter:  two hot, new trends for you to debate.  In this corner, notice the "Sun Stache." Advertised for women, children and "all of the mustache-less" out there, sun staches, as you can see, combine sun glasses with fake mustaches. I wonder how we ever survived before this invention -- I cannot tell you how many times I've gazed wistfully at myself in the rear-view mirror, clad in my bare, ordinary sunglasses, and thought, "Too bad I am mustache-less. If only I could add a mustache to this stunning look, I'd be sure to attract everything I've ever wanted in life."

 

On the other hand, I needn’t have worried too much.  Being mustache-less is, apparently, nothing compared to being beard-less, especially on cold winter days.  Note the other oddity – the Beard Beanie.  Who doesn’t want a fake beard to warm the face in the face of blustery wind?  Combine it with the attractive skull cap and you’ve suddenly got the go-to look.  Bonus:  If you look carefully, the fake beard comes complete with a fake mustache.  Add you own sunglasses and you’ve combined the two trends into the ultimate of cool warmth.

 

Questions of the day:  Have you ever seen anyone actually sporting these looks?  Do you secretly want to try them out?

 

 

Mondegreens

Mondegreens can be thought of as aural malapropism. Instead of saying the wrong word, you hear the wrong word.  The term mondegreen was originally coined by author Sylvia Wright. As a child, Wright heard the lyrics of “The Bonny Earl of Murray” (a Scottish ballad) as: 

Ye highlands and ye lowlands
Oh where hae you been?
Thou hae slay the Earl of Murray
And Lady Mondegreen

Wright eventually realized that Lady Mondegreen existed only her mind – the actual lyrics were "slay the Earl of Murray and laid him on the green." To this day Lady Mondegreen's name has been used to describe mishearings of this type.

Do you have a mondegreen example?  Here are some humorous ones I found scrolling around online:   

• "There's a bathroom on the right."
  "There's a bad moon on the rise."
  Bad Moon Rising, Creedence Clearwater
• "Excuse me while I kiss this guy."
  "Excuse me while I kiss the sky."
  Purple Haze, Jimi Hendrix
• "Dead ants are my friends; they're blowin' in the wind."
  "The answer my friend is blowin' in the wind."
  Blowin' In The Wind, Bob Dylan
• "Midnight after you're wasted."
  "Midnight at the oasis."
  Midnight at the Oasis, Maria Muldaur
• "The girl with colitis goes by."
  "The girl with kaleidoscope eyes."
  Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds, The Beatles
• "You and me and Leslie."
  "You and me endlessly..."
  Groovin', The Rascals
• "I'll be your xylophone waiting for you."
  "I'll be beside the phone waiting for you."
  Build Me Up Buttercup, The Foundations
• "Are you going to starve an old friend?"
  "Are you going to Scarborough Fair?"
  Scarborough Fair, Simon and Garfunkel
• "Baking carrot biscuits."
  "Taking care of business."
  Takin' Care Of Business, Bachman-Turner Overdrive
• "What a nice surprise when you're out of ice."
  "What a nice surprise bring your alibis."
  Hotel California, Eagles
• "Hope the city voted for you."
  "Hopelessly devoted to you."
  Hopelessly Devoted to You, Grease
• "I'm a pool hall ace."
  "My poor heart aches."
  Every Step You Take, The Police
• "Just brush my teeth before you leave me, baby."
  "Just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby."
  Angel of the Morning, Juice Newton

I, ahem, must admit that I always thought it was “You and me and Leslie . . .”  No lie!  But, I cannot imagine anyone thinking the lyrics are really “baking carrot biscuits” – “every day,” no less (some kind of bunny bakery?).  Seriously?  Who would think this?  I mean, if you would bake carrot biscuits, you may do it, perhaps once in your life.  Right?  Try some new recipe in the food section and then agree to go back to baking regular biscuits, like other members of normal society.  Or maybe not.  In any case, I have never baked carrot biscuits and likely will never bake carrot biscuits.  Nor will I sing about baking carrot biscuits.  So there.  Unless you and Leslie want them, that is.

Abracadabra

You know you're being fooled, yet you watch like a hawk.  You will figure it out, this magic trick, if it's the last thing you do.  But, over and over again, the assistant gets sawed in half, the rabbit is pulled out of the hat, and Uncle Charlie pulls the quarter from behind your ear.

Have you ever wondered about magician's secrets?  The brain, it seems, continues seeing the reality of the situation it has already assessed.  Reality and our perception of it are not always aligned, in fact are "off" by fragments of time.  According to a recent New York Times article, our perceptions lag behind reality by a split second and it is that delay that magicians utilize for their trickery. 

Scientists are researching this phenomenon to study human behavior in order to better understand the connection between reality and perception.  To read more about these fascinating ideas, click here:  The Science of Illusion

Have a magical day!

The World's Weirdest Sentence

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

Notice the period at the end of the preceding line?  That means it is a sentence.  No, really.  It is.  Thanks to Chelsea Brenegan and her linguistics training for enlightening me about the world's weirdest sentence. 

Need help figuring it out?  Think of it this way:  The word ''buffalo'' in the sentence has three meanings -- the animal, the city in New York and the act of ''buffaloing'' which is another word for teasing or bullying.  You could think of the sentence like this: THE buffalo FROM Buffalo WHO ARE buffaloed BY buffalo FROM Buffalo ALSO buffalo THE buffalo FROM Buffalo.

I'm still not entirely sure I get it, but I'm thoroughly intrigued!  What do you think?

Paraprosdokians for thought

Thanks to my friend, Political Science Professor John Langton for sending me this list of paraprosdokians.

PARAPROSDOKIAN:  A figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation.  Some examples:

-- If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

-- We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

-- War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

-- Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

-- Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

-- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

-- A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

-- Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

-- I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

-- Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

-- A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

-- I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

-- You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

-- Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

-- I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

-- Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

-- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

-- The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

-- Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

-- A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.

-- Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.

-- I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

-- When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Which one is your favorite?  I must say, the tomato one speaks to me! 

The Spirit World

Casper

Do you believe in ghosts? Spirits? Things that go bump in the night? How about things that walk around your house in the broad daylight?

Yesterday (ahem, officially “The Day of the Dead,” according to my calendar), while I was sitting at my desk, deeply concentrating on my work, I heard footsteps. Oh, it’s just my husband walking to the kitchen, I thought, and then remembered that I was alone in the house. I looked up – in fact, had a perfect view of the kitchen and dining room – and saw nothing. The footsteps “walked” through the dining room and into the kitchen, then stopped.

I was a little freaked out. Okay, more than a little.

“Things” like this have happened to me occasionally my whole life, so, I must say that, yes, I do believe in ghosts/spirits/vibrations from another plane of existence. 

When I told my husband about it, he confessed that he, too, had heard footsteps in our house, once, when I wasn’t home. He investigated and found nothing.

Our house is over 130 years old. Word has it that one man both was born and died here.

“It’s a friendly spirit,” my husband said. “Don’t you think?”

I could only hope. And then it dawned on me that, yes, it must be a friendly spirit – a helpful one even. Why? Because as I was sitting at my desk, deep in thought, the topic I was thinking about was my next blog. This blog. What could I write about? Nothing seemed quite right. The footsteps interrupted my musings, shook me from a bunch of dead end topics (no pun intended) and pointed me, well, straight to this one. 

And, here I am, typing out a rather lengthy entry, all courtesy of the friendly footsteps and their inspiration.

What about you? Do you believe in “ghosts?”  Have you ever been visited by a spirit presence? What was your experience like?

Supermarket No-Nos

A friend recently confessed to me that he is bewildered by the shelves and shelves of toothpaste offerings.  Each time he goes to the store to pick out toothpaste, he forgets the exact branding of his favorite one.  He knows the manufacturer – but they make dozens of varieties.  He knows he wants mint, but doesn’t know which version.  He likes peppermint, but doesn’t know if peppermint translates to cool mint, fresh mint or ultra mint in toothpaste-ese.  The other day, he said, he opened the box of what he thought he wanted and tasted – to make sure!  He had to, he said.  He had no choice.  If the labels made more sense, he would be able to figure them out.

I’ve had my own supermarket no-no.  Sometimes, I need more twist ties than I seem to be able to collect from old bread packaging or from buying produce.  I hunt and save and collect twist ties at will, but every once in a while, I run completely out.  I know this shouldn’t matter, that there are greater issues in the universe to worry about, but when I don’t have a single twist tie in the drawer that should house them, I am unsettled until I can go to the produce department and tie a few extra ones around the plastic bags of potatoes or oranges I buy.  Home, I put the extras away feeling guilty and relieved at the same time.

What are your supermarket confessions?  Do you sample the grapes?  Open packages?  Pocket a free sample to take home to your pet?  Go ahead and let us know.  We understand . . . sort of.

National Punctuation Day

I’m a bit behind, apparently, in wishing everyone Happy National Punctuation Day (which was Saturday).  What’s that?  Good question.  It’s only been on the books for six years, hasn’t become a Hallmark holiday yet, but might be worth exploring.  Punctuation Day creator Jeff Rubin, from California, said he started the day to instruct about the good manners of proper punctuation and to allow for venting of punctuation pet peeves.  His website is full of funny examples of wrongly punctuated statements, like a sign for a day care center called “Diane’s Play Pen for Little Genius’s.”  <Shudder> 

I remember one of my teachers asking our class, “Doesn’t anyone know anything about commas?  It looks like you grab a handful of them and throw them at your finished essays and where they land is where they land.”  Yes, I’m still traumatized!  J  (Which makes me wonder if perhaps I overuse exclamation marks, parenthesis, and/or emoticons and slash marks.)  Perhaps I should utilize a semi-colon or two instead of allowing fragments to “pepper” my work.  ;)  Ha!  (Sorry.)

What are your irritants?  Using quotations marks to connote irony?  Misplaced apostrophes?  Colons?  Dashes?  Hyphens used as dashes?  This is your moment to vent, my friends.  And, don’t worry if you use incorrect punctuation – I’m sure someone will be happy to correct you.